The Intriguing Mr. Ambler
My Bad is So Fun
9/11/01
All in This Together
More Random Musings at my blog: Conjectures and Refutations
The Intriguing
Mr. Ambler
This article first appeared in Crime Spree magazine for January, 2006 and is reprinted by permission.
Many years ago
I went to a book signing held by one of my favorite authors, the late
Ross Thomas. I had recently discovered Thomas's smart, funny, cynical
political thrillers, and I was excited about meeting him and hearing
what he had to say about writing. Thomas did intrigue: jaded, knowing
tales of good old-fashioned dirty dealing in politics or on its
fringes, often in a foreign setting, and he did it as well as anybody
has ever done it. Intrigue as a genre, alas, does not seem to occupy
the place of honor it once did (the knife in the back, metaphorical or
otherwise, is less cinematic than a fireball) but it was once a craft
practiced by masters.
And
much to my delight, Ross Thomas began his remarks that day by
acknowledging one of those masters as a major inspiration. "When I was
a boy in Oklahoma," Thomas said, "much of what I learned about the
world came from the books of Eric Ambler."
I
recognized a kindred spirit, because Ambler had done the same for me as
a boy in rural Illinois. I can remember curling up on the sofa with A Coffin for Dimitrios,
rows of corn visible through the window, and being absolutely
transported to Istanbul in the 1930's. No author has ever had a better
gift for evoking place; no author has ever given a better sense of the
inner workings of security services, shady political organizations,
dubious business concerns or dysfunctional countries. To read Ambler is
to learn about the practical matters of the world, especially as they
stray from the straight and narrow.
Ambler,
who died in 1998, is often credited with inventing the modern espionage
novel. Whatever merit such claims may have (some would say Somerset
Maugham did it with Ashenden), Ambler undoubtedly set the tone
for the modern genre with a series of seminal books in the
nineteen-thirties. Before Ambler, spy fiction was dominated by
melodrama, the cloak and dagger, the fiendish plot, the cackling
arch-villain. Ambler brought spy fiction into the real world, the world
of jealously guarded industrial processes, patiently cultivated
informants, tangled bureaucratic thickets. He showed us that espionage
is often concerned with the mundane. The mundane, however, is never
dull, not with the scent of violence hanging faintly in the air.
Ambler's
career as a novelist had two distinct phases: before and after the
Second World War. In the mid and late thirties he produced his
genre-changing classics, including Background to Danger, Cause for Alarm, A Coffin for Dimitrios, and Journey into Fear.
These books capture the fatalism and decline of the thirties, with
fascism on the rise and war looming. The setting is mainly eastern or
southern Europe, those countries where society was failing and the
thugs were taking over. Dimitrios sketches the political history of the Balkans through the story of a writer researching the life of a dead Greek criminal; Cause for Alarm shows a politically naive British engineer confronting fascism in Mussolini's Italy.
The
inevitable war interrupted Ambler's career: he enlisted in the British
army, and, after a short spell in the artillery, spent the rest of the
war making training films. After the war he turned to screenwriting for
a few years, even receiving an Oscar nomination for his adaptation of
Nicholas Monsarrat's The Cruel Sea. He did not resume writing novels until 1951, when Judgment on Deltchev appeared.
The second phase of Ambler's career tracked the Cold War through its hottest decades. Deltchev recounted a show trial in an unnamed communist country, Passage of Arms
the fate of a cache of illegal weapons hidden by a Southeast Asian
guerrilla band. Nearly thirty years before Saddam Hussein became a
household name in the west, A Kind of Anger depicted the spillover of violent Iraqi/Kurdish politics into European streets. Ambler's interests ranged the world: State of Siege and Passage of Arms take place in Southeast Asia, Dr. Frigo
in the French Antilles. Most of the books, however, are set somewhere
within an easy drive of the Mediterranean. The Balkans, Turkey, Greece,
southern France: that's what I think of as Ambler territory.
Ambler
always rooted his stories in a real political situation; from the
Balkan chaos of the twenties to the rise of Palestinian terror in the
seventies, the real world was always a vivid presence in Ambler's
novels. Politically, Ambler territory is the society threatened by
political violence. Unstable countries, guerrilla movements,
dictatorships: Ambler heroes negotiate perilous waters. While he had
inclined to the left in the nineteen thirties, Ambler's books never
took a partisan political position. Ambler was too good a novelist to
do anything other than observe with his skeptical eye and show the
political world in all its folly and duplicity. If there is a political
stance in Ambler's work, it is opposition to extremism, whether of the
right or the left. (Both sides supply villains in the Ambler corpus.)
Ambler
heroes are never intelligence professionals, though the professionals
usually take the stage at some point after the hero has gotten in over
his head. Engineers, journalists, and writers are heavily represented;
other protagonists include a plantation manager, a physician, a lawyer,
and, in a wonderful departure from form, a less-than-successful
swindler. Ambler's heroes are typically drawn into intrigue by the
skills they possess: an engineer finds he has knowledge coveted by
intelligence agencies, a journalist hired to track down a celebrity
fugitive does his job all too well. Along the way we learn as much
about diverse trades and rackets as we do the business of espionage,
which is a key element of Ambler's appeal.
The
fascination is in the details: the vicissitudes of running a trading
company headquartered in Beirut or the complexities of a legal case
spanning two continents. Ambler shows us a spy's patient procedure for
suborning an employee of the Yugoslav Ministry of Marine and the
significance of ballistic data from an Italian arms factory. We see how
journalists cultivate sources and how arms dealers solve logistics
problems. We learn about the mechanics of blackmail and international
banking.
I
had always assumed that this intimate knowledge of Turkish police
stations, Italian arms factories, Malay rubber plantations, Paris news
bureaus and other arcana must have been the result of extensive
personal experience. I guessed Ambler was a former intelligence officer
(like David Cornwell, a.k.a. John LeCarré) or perhaps a world-ranging
journalist. When I first read his biography, I was surprised to find
out that he was nothing of the sort. He was in fact born into a
show-business family, started out as a music-hall comedian, and worked
mainly in advertising before moving to Paris to dedicate himself to
writing (though he did study engineering and worked briefly for an
electrical equipment firm as a young man). When he wrote A Coffin for Dimitrios with its vivid evocation of intrigue on the Bosphorous, he had never been to Istanbul.
This
amazed me. I had always supposed that good writing had to be based on
personal experience, that authenticity rested on having been there and
done that. As I learned more about Ambler, I realized that an author's
material need not be limited to personal experience, that a writer who
pays attention and does his homework can convey a sense of authenticity
even if he has never left his armchair. Convincing writing is simply
writing that respects the reader's sense of plausibility. Above all,
what satisfies the reader is the old-fashioned literary virtues: plot,
pacing, character, a lively style.
And
Ambler was expert in these. He was a productive professional writer
with experience in many genres: plays, short stories, screenplays and
novels, not to mention the advertising copy, army training films and
other menial labor that taught him to pound the keys on deadline. The
lesson Ambler teaches is that what makes a good writer is mastery of
the craft of writing, whatever the real-world experiences of the
writer.
Even
more than his revelation of unsuspected aspects of the real world,
then, Ambler's continuing appeal rests on the perfectly tuned suspense
of his plotting and the elegant concision of his prose. His dialogue is
marked by its economy; it always moves the story, without being
pedestrian. Dialogue is not the centerpiece of an Ambler novel, the way
it is in an Elmore Leonard book. The most interesting voice in an
Ambler novel is always that of the narrator. Many of the books are told
in the first person; in the third-person narratives the tone is wise,
detached, amused. An Ambler story is told, whether in first person or
third, by an ironic voice, knowing and insouciant, frequently quite
funny. Consider, for example, the wonderful opening lines of The Care of Time:
The warning message arrived on Monday, the bomb itself on Wednesday. It became a busy week.
Or the credo of Ambler's Anglo-Egyptian anti-hero Arthur Abdel Simpson, who appears in The Light of Day and Dirty Story:
I was too young when my father was killed to have known him well; but
one or two of his pet sayings have always remained in my memory... One,
I remember, was "Never volunteer for anything," and another was
"Bullshit baffles brains."
Ambler was a master of conveying character through description:
The
Greek was a dark, lean man of middle age with intelligent, rather
bulbous eyes and a way of bringing his lips together at the end of a
sentence as though amazed at his own lack of discretion. (A Coffin for Dimitrios)
Miss
Lipp made me think of twenty-eight. In fact she was thirty-six; but I
only found that out later. She looked twenty-eight to me. She was tall
with short brownish-blond hair, and the kind of figure that you have to
notice, no matter what dress covers it. She also had the sort of eyes,
insolent, sleepy, and amused, and the full good-humored mouth which
tell you that she knows you can't help watching the way her body moves,
and that she doesn't give a damn whether you do so or not; watching is
not going to get you anywhere anyway. (The Light of Day)
Ambler was
also a stylistic experimenter, trying out differing points of view,
offbeat voices and sleights of hand such as making English dialogue
sound French. Several of the books feature substantial passages
consisting of letters, transcripts or reports, as in an epistolary
novel. This does not make them dull:
Dear Mr. Halliday,
On
its way to you by post there is a parcel wrapped in ordinary brown
paper. However, in order to distinguish it from any other parcel you
might happen to receive at about the same time, this one is sealed with
black electrical tape. The consequences of your trying to open this
parcel yourself would be disastrous for both of us... (The Care of Time)
As for the
vivid sense of place in an Ambler novel, I was surprised on going back
to look at the novels at how light the author's touch is. An Ambler
book leaves the reader with an impression of having breathed in great
drafts of atmosphere, but that quality is created in an extremely
economical way, with mostly sparse descriptive passages. In fact it was
never accomplished simply with a list of physical features:
In
that kind of hotel almost everything except the outside walls has been
modified over the years by owners trying, usually without success, to
keep pace with changing standards of comfort and convenience. The quest
for space in which to install more bathrooms and utility ducts has
always been hard on stairwells. This one seemed to have been remodeled
for the use of mountain goats. (The Care of Time)
Lunch
at the Ajoupa can never be entirely enjoyable. At its best the food may
be just palatable, but the restaurant service is always bad. All the
competent waitresses work in the more profitable bar areas. Those in
the restaurant are either languid beauties who do nothing but admire
themselves in the mirrors or boisterous village girls who shout a lot
at one another, bang their hips against the furniture and drop things.
They are largely unsupervised. The chefs de rang supposedly in charge
are hard-faced women who patrol their tables looking not for
inadequacies in the service, but for dissatisfied guests whom they can
intimidate. (Dr. Frigo)
Ambler knew
that readers have little patience with description unless it is in
itself entertaining or illuminating; he also knew that places are
inhabited by people, which is the key to their distinctiveness. He was
above all an observer of people and how they make the world we live in.
That
is the key to Ambler's influence and enduring popularity- he paid
attention. He talked to people and explored the places they live in,
and he learned practical things about the way the world works. When you
read an Ambler book you encounter not just the built-in drama of
espionage and intrigue, but also the routine drama of people at work,
the world going about its business. Ambler knew that the essence of
literature was to make the world interesting, and he was expert enough
at the craft of writing to accomplish that. Over a fifty-year career he
produced one of the great bodies of work in crime fiction or any other
kind of fiction and permanently changed a genre. Best of all, his
urbane, witty voice kept us up too late turning pages. If you haven't
read Ambler yet, please refill your glass and make yourself
comfortable: I have a proposition that may intrigue you.
Sam Reaves counts Eric Ambler among his most important influences.
My Bad is So Fun
I'm
not going to appeal to your better nature. I'm not going to coax or
cajole. I'm not going to tell you that you should avoid grammar
mistakes because good grammar is the sign of an orderly mind or that
language is what unites us and needs to be conserved. I'm not even
going to tell you that you should improve your English in order to
sound more educated, or because it will improve your job prospects or
help you to impress people. That's probably not true anyway.
No,
I'm not going to waste my time with any of that. I'm going to be blunt.
Every time you say "My bad!" you sound like an idiot.
That's right. You sound like an idiot. You heard me.
Unfortunately,
you have a lot of company. Most of the population of the United States
sounds like a bunch of idiots these days. We hear things like "That was
so fun!" and "Between you and I, it's a problem." We hear "The thing
is, is that I don't have access to the file," and "The meeting will be
chaired by John and myself."
Don't
worry, I can help. But you have to want to change. You have to want to
stop sounding like an idiot. If you're happy sounding like an idiot,
you can stop reading now and go on doing what you're doing. Most likely
nobody will ever comment on the way you talk, because they're all
talking the same way. So who cares? Only those of us who know how to
talk right. There aren't many of us left, but we know who we are. And
we are laughing at the rest of you because you sound like idiots.
Now,
if you're tired of sounding like an idiot, you're going to have to pay
attention for a little while. Not long, probably not as long as you
would pay attention to an episode of Jerry Springer or Survivor,
but a few minutes anyway. You're going to have to give a few seconds'
thought to things you should have learned in grade school but didn't
because you were daydreaming about Menudo or trying to hit your friend
Mikey with an eraser. It will take a little effort, but then probably
much less effort than you'd put into beating Grand Theft Auto.
If
you can't face that effort, quit now. Nobody will care. Least of all
me, believe me. I couldn't care less. You heard me: I could not care
less. Your mother will still love you if you keep on saying "my bad" or
"let Susan and I do it." Your boss doesn't care if you say "Bill and
myself are looking into that now." Keep reading only if you really want
to stop sounding like an idiot. I can help you.
Now pay attention.
My bad
Saying
"my bad" is like saying "her beautiful" or "his smart". It doesn't make
sense. It sounds like a two-year-old just learning to talk. It sounds
like a pocket translator that fell into the toilet and got soaked. It
sounds as if you just got off the boat and know seventeen words of
English. It sounds as if you suffered a brain injury and are having to
painstakingly re-learn your native language. It sounds ridiculous.
Look, bad
is an adjective. Remember what that means? (I'm going to try to keep
the terminology to a minimum here because I know you can't handle too
much, but it helps to have a label for things. If I were teaching you
to repair cars, you'd have to know what to call the carburetor, right?
So make an effort.) Adjectives are words that describe things or
people, like big, happy, red or tumescent. They don't name things; that would be a noun, like ball, car, John or death. Adjectives describe nouns, as in a red ball or John is happy. And a word indicating possession, like my, can only go before a noun, as in my accountant or your nose. We can't say my happy or our tired, because it makes no sense and sounds stupid. So why do you keep saying "My bad"?
I
know the answer to that: because everyone else is saying it. And yeah,
I know language changes and evolves, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes it
evolves in stupid ways, and this is one of them.
There's
a perfectly good noun which is what you really mean when you say "my
bad." How about "my mistake?" Doesn't that make more sense? Of course
it does. If that sounds too stilted to you, how about "my fault"?
People used to say that all the time before some idiot started the fad
for "my bad". Or if you are terrified of sounding too refined you could
always say, "I messed up," or any of its variants with increasingly
obscene verbs. Just do us all a favor and don't say "my bad" any more.
It sounds stupid.
Fun
OK, adjectives and nouns again. I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but fun is a noun. That's right, it's the name of a thing, like joy, bliss, boredom or disgust.
And when was the last time you heard somebody say "My husband is so
disgust when he eats nachos," or "That movie is so entertainment." If
you heard someone say those things you'd think they had a shaky handle
on the English language. That's what I think when I hear you say, "The
party was so fun."
What
would be better? Try this on for size: "The party was such fun." To
help you, try to remember this model: "What you are saying is such
crap." I realize you are probably thinking that about me right now.
Would you say it's "so crap"? Draw your own conclusions.
Between you and I
This
one drives me nuts. It may be as stupid as "my bad". It may be worse,
in fact. What makes it worse is the fact that people who say this think
they are going out of their way to sound educated. In reality they
sound like idiots. Now, I know where it comes from: when you were in
grade school not paying attention, the one thing that sank in, the
single thing your poor harried teachers accomplished in all those
years, was to get you to stop saying "Me and Johnny are going to the
park." Now, that was a good thing, because of course me is the object form, not the subject form. More terminology if you can stay awake for a few seconds: In the sentence John loves Mary, John is the subject and Mary is the object. If you substitute pronouns (don't ask) for the names, it becomes He loves her. Got that? Not Him loves she,
because that would be stupid. Well, when you say "Between you and I,
this is a problem," or "Please allow my wife and I to express our
deepest condolences," you sound just that stupid, because you are using
the wrong form of the pronoun. You are using the subject form, I, where
you need the object form, me. "Me and Johnny are going to the park" is
wrong because you are using the object form where you need the subject
form, while "Let Mary and I do it" is wrong for the opposite reason.
What
happened was that you over-generalized from being scolded about "Me and
Johnny are going to the park" and decided, for reasons that are frankly
beyond me, that "me and Johnny" is always wrong and you should always
say "Johnny and I". But that's stupid. Sometimes "me and Johnny", or if
you prefer, "Johnny and me", is right.
If
all this talk about subjects and objects is too much for you, try this
simple test: leave out Johnny. Whenever you are in doubt about whether
to use I or me, just leave out the other guy and ask yourself if you
would say "Allow I to express my condolences" or "The new schedule is a
problem for I." Of course you wouldn't. That would sound unbelievably
stupid. So why does adding Johnny change anything? It doesn't. There's
no excuse for this one.
A splendid fellow like myself
Here's
what Tony Blair said the other day, which should put the last nail in
the coffin of the idea that the British speak English better than we
do: "First of all, let me say that President Musharraf and myself have
had an excellent meeting together." (I'm not even going to get into the
question of whether they could have had an excellent meeting apart.)
Now, I can see you scratching your head and wondering what I'm ranting
about now, because that sounds perfectly all right to you. So myself is
going to have to demonstrate. If yourself went around saying things
like, "Myself has to work today," or "Can yourself make myself another
vodka martini please?" or "Susan can't come to the phone because
herself is in the bathroom," I bet that would sound stupid even to
yourself. That's because there's no reason in these sentences to use
the "self" form instead of a plain old pronoun like I or you or she.
There
are only two excuses for using a "self" pronoun (I'll spare you the
technical term). The first is when it is the object and happens to
refer to the same person as the subject, as in "John cut himself
shaving," or "I like myself better now that I've lost fifty pounds."
The second is when you want to emphasize the person you have just
named, as in "You yourself admitted that this disaster was your idea,"
or "God Himself couldn't figure out these instructions." That's it.
Period. Any other use of a "self" pronoun is stupid.
If
Tony Blair had stood up in front of a thicket of microphones and said,
"Myself has had a good meeting with President Musharraf," even the TV
people might have looked faintly puzzled, and God knows TV people have
even less of a clue about proper English than you do. So why does
mentioning the poor hapless president of Pakistan in the same breath
trigger the irresistible urge to say "myself"? There is nothing at all
wrong with saying "President Musharraf and I have had an excellent
meeting." Absolutely nothing. In fact it's a whole lot better than
saying "President Musharraf and myself have had an excellent meeting."
I
think this particular idiocy is another effect of the profound pronoun
trauma that schoolchildren throughout the English-speaking world have
apparently suffered at the hands of all those teachers trying to get
them to stop saying "Johnny and me". Tony Blair was so traumatized that
he is now terrified not just of "me" but also of "I". He's so utterly
confused about his pronouns that he's simply ditched the vexatious
question of choosing between "me" and "I" and opted for a whole new
class of pronouns in the vain hope that fudging the question will make
him sound smarter.
Unfortunately, it didn't work. It made him sound stupider. (Yes, you're right. Stupider
isn't a word. You're starting to pay attention.) Tony, get a clue. If
you can say "I had a good meeting," you can say "Johnny and I had a
good meeting." Adding the other guy doesn't change a thing. I thought I
already told you that.
I could care less
I'm
old enough to remember when people still said, "I couldn't care less"
when something didn't concern them. That was a useful way of putting
things, and perfectly logical. And then, some time in the late sixties,
somebody started saying, sarcastically, "I could care less" when they
meant they didn't care, and it caught on. And then pretty soon
everybody forgot the original expression, and now all you hear is "I
could care less," when what people obviously mean is that they
couldn't. They are saying the opposite of what they mean, and
apparently they couldn't care less. Or perhaps they truly don't
understand what they are saying, which is a more frightening but, come
to think of it, more plausible hypothesis.
Do
I really have to explain? Sadly, given the prevalence of "my bad", I
probably do. Look, if you don't care at all about something, then it is
not possible for you to care any less about it. I repeat, not
possible. The expression is negative. "I could not care less about
this," i.e. it does not concern me at all. Perhaps at this point people
are just too lazy to put in the extra syllable, as if saying couldn't instead of could were especially taxing. Perhaps they are saving their energy for Grand Theft Auto.
The thing is, is...
We
are a nation of stutterers, apparently, judging by how often I hear
this bonehead utterance. Somebody launches into an explanation, usually
posing as an expert, and says something like, "The thing is, is that
when interest rates go up..." and so forth. Now ask yourself, would you
say, "My car is, is a Chevy," or "Mary is, is the vice-president"? Of
course not. That would be pointless. It would sound, excuse me for
repeating myself, stupid. So why do you insist on saying "The thing is,
is that..."? What on earth is wrong with "The thing is that when
interest rates go up..."? Nothing is wrong with it. It is, in fact,
correct. It has a subject, the thing, and a verb, is, just like "My house is on fire" and "Mr. Jenkins is a transvestite." All you need is one is. So why do you go around throwing in the second one?
I'll
tell you why, but you have to pay attention again. A similar
construction you may have heard is: "What it is, is that when interest
rates go up..." Now this also is perfectly correct. The subject of this
sentence is the clause what it is. In English a clause, i.e. a
subject and verb together (forget it, you won't be tested), may serve
in the place of a noun. Not surprisingly, it is then called a noun
clause. When you ask someone "Can you tell me where the bus stops?" you
are using the noun clause where the bus stops as the object of
the sentence. And when you say "What keeps me awake at night is the
thought of a Jeb Bush/Hillary Clinton race in 2008," you are using the
noun clause what keeps me awake at night as the subject of the sentence. And when you say, "What it is, is a failure to communicate," you are using what it is as the subject, followed immediately by the verb, which just happens to be is. (Strictly speaking we don't need the comma, but since people usually pause between the two is-es when they speak, it may help to have it there.) And the coincidence of having two perfectly legitimate is-es in a row seems to have blown people's circuits and made them unable to recognize the thing
for what it is, namely a plain old noun that only needs one verb after
it, just like any other noun. So the thing is, apparently, that people
are incapable of thinking about what comes out of their mouths.
Now,
don't get me wrong. I'm not especially a purist when it comes to
grammar. I'm not one of these people who insist that you have to answer
"It is I," when somebody asks you who's at the door. I'm perfectly
happy answering "It's me, for God's sake. Open up!" (Purists will note
a number of technically incomplete sentences in this article, for
example, due to its conversational tone. Deal with it.) There's room
for argument about English usage, and I'm inclined to go with popular
usage most of the time.
Except
when it's stupid. The above examples are instances of faddishness or
mere slovenliness overcoming our logic or our native speaker's
intuition, what you might call our linguistic common sense. There's
nothing illogical about saying "It's me." The choice of pronoun here is
arbitrary. The French are the prissiest language purists on the face of
the earth, and in French you say "C'est moi", not "C'est je." What's good enough for the Academie is good enough for me.
But nobody says "A letter came for I." Nobody. Because we know that I stands in the object position and therefore requires the object pronoun me. And there is no reason on the face of the earth, none, to say I instead of me
just because the letter was addressed to both you and your wife. People
do that because of a glitch in the educational system, not because of
anything in the logic of the language. And the rest of the examples are
similar. They are things people say because they are not thinking about
what they say, and that's a bad sign.
Language does change and evolve, and I may be losing the battle on some fronts. Fun
seems well on its way to acceptance as an adjective, particularly
before the noun, as in "Phil's a fun guy." That may not bother me as
much as "The party was so fun," maybe because the latter still sounds
like "That's so nonsense" to me. But I'll be damned if I'm going to
say, "My bad." Ever.
Finally,
an apology for the hectoring tone. I don't really think you're an
idiot, and I don't really feel superior to you. I'm sure you know much
more about your field, whatever it may be, than I do, and you're
probably a wonderful human being to boot. Some of my closest friends,
indeed some of my nearest and dearest, make these mistakes sometimes.
But I've had auto mechanics smirk because I didn't know what was going
on under the hood of my car and computer whizzes snicker because I
couldn't figure out how to format a document, so indulge me here. This
is my field. I'm a published author and a long-time English teacher,
and I know the language. And it bugs me when people use it in a way
that outrages the linguistic common sense that we all have. We just
have to dig down through the layers of muck deposited by bad teaching
and trash culture to recover that common sense. So I know you're not
really an idiot.
It's just that you sound like one so often.
Sam Reaves, in addition to being a writer, translator and teacher, is a certified language curmudgeon.